Girls and Boys

October 2004, Home

August 2004, Indiana

Yiran is used to being around boys, mainly because she has a brother. Since her 5^th birthday, she has been sleeping in the same bed with Luran in his room. This arrangement has so far worked out fine — she needs him for companionship and he needs her for protection (for a while Luran is afraid of aliens). Until not too long ago Yiran didn’t see why Luran needs to close the door when he uses the bathroom.

Two events took place recently, however, that remind us that things are not to remain simple forever. On the school bus, Yiran regularly sits with two neighborhood boys who are both 3^rd graders. One day another boy who is her 1^st grade classmate wanted to sit with her. The two 3^rd graders punched (or pretended to punch) the 1^st grader, and got her back to sit with them again. Yiran related the event to us in a way that suggests her sympathy for the 1^st grader and her confusion as to what should be the proper action for herself. We told her that only she should decide who she wishes to sit with, not anyone else. It is yet to be seen whether she has understood what we said.

The other event was a bit of a surprise to us. One day, Yiran said, “Mama, I want to tell you something. Well, it’s a little embarrassing, but I think I’m having a crush on Dominick. Pinky swear don’t tell anyone!” And she flushed. A few days later, when mommy quietly asked her about Dominick, she replied, “Oh, I forgot to tell you. My crush for him is gone. Today I’m having a crush on Thomas!”